Updated: Aug 25, 2021
My mom, the only person who fully accepted everything about me, the only one who un-questionably, unconditionally loved me.
Mom cared, she cared about people. She didn’t half listen, she fully, looked you in the eye and listened. She knew stories about all my friends, and friends husbands, and kids. She engaged, she got right down to the kids level and spoke kindly to them, or firmly to them. She was a teacher, and a crafter and an imaginer, and a player. She put love into it all. She was so patient and soft spoken and I can't remember her yelling at me, ever. The kids listened to her because she listened to them. She loved her grandkids immensely, she loved doing anything with them.
My mom was reasonable. She spoke from the heart when she spoke and meant what she said. She was willing to take other peoples opinion into consideration, and change previously formed opinions when she learned more fact. She was smart, and proud of us all.
She did things for people, because she genuinely cared about other people, and took their feelings, and situations into consideration. She was so kind, and caring, and easy to love.
She was happy if other people were happy. Where other people would be jealous, envious, or competitive when learning of other peoples fortunes, she instead shared in other peoples accomplishments, and excitement, it filled her with happiness, being happy for others. She loved hearing all about the kids adventures, reading their report cards, and the comments about their personalities.
My mother didn’t strive to have the smartest, or richest, or most accomplished kid. She strived to have happy, loving, healthy children. We are happy, and loving... and we have this stupid gene that killed her. But we are hoping to take preventative measures and be healthy. (stay tuned for that tomorrow)
My mom was there for me,
Time I asked. She was the answer, who to ask, who to call, who to watch the kids, It was mom.
My mom trusted me. She trusted my opinion of people, and ideas, and things. She advocated for me, and took me to important medical appointments. My mom drove out of town to come and help me move away from an abusive boyfriend, at 5 in the morning, she watched our kids when my husband had major surgery, or when we needed just to escape and get a vacation. My mom was supportive, she didn’t judge me, she simply loved me.
She and stuck up for me, and visited often, she understood when things were rough and didn't judge. She accepted my friends, she accepted my boundaries,
she accepted my help,
she accepted my opinions.
She walked me down the aisle, and took every opportunity to be with her grand-babies.
I once told her that the housing market was too much in Guelph and the GTA, we could never afford to buy here and maybe one day we would move to Cornwall where housing is affordable.
My mom said. "if you move to Cornwall, I will cry every single day"
There was no way she could stay away from those grandkids, never mind be 6 hours away. History lied to me, and gee-gee did too. My grandma (though I keep confusing the kids cause I'm calling my grandma, grandma again instead of geegee) told me, to keep my girlfriends close. That men die earlier and that us ladies need each other in the future. I'm glad I have my girlfriends, but despite the fact my OPA died in his mid sixties, and my Oma lived till her early nineties, and despite the fact my mom's dad died suddenly the year he retired and my mom's mom is still alive at 91 yrs
... here we are. I always kinda thought my dad would go first, and my mom would end up living in an inlaw suite that we would have, or in a little house down the street. I never expected that I would only see her about 14 more times before she passed away. It's an unfair world.
I am heart broken (still angry as well, covid regulations, hospital protocol, or negligence)
There is a giant empty hole left in her absence.
I miss you mom.