That perfect moment in time

If I had to pick just one day in my life to go back to as my place. My place to just time warp to at any given moment that I required peace and happiness. This is 100% what I would pick.

Let me take you all on an adventure, back to where I would choose to be right now in my history.

The year was 2017.

Let me set the scene.

My husband and I were on our honeymoon. He had never been on an all inclusive vacation, I don't even think I'd ever seen him in shorts. We had delayed our honeymoon as I got pregnant right after our early Fall wedding, and two years after our first was born I was already pregnant with our second. So this was doubling as our 5 year anniversary, we picked Cuba a place I had been a few times with girlfriends and my mom and sister, even with my son when he was nine months old.

At the time of our vacation our family was as full as it could ever be, there was no cancer or C-PTSD diagnosis of ANYONE and PALB2 did not exist (at least we had no clue it existed and was mutated in us). My children were at my parents Eva just one year old and Emmett 3.5, I had already been hired on full time, at my work (walking distance from home) and my husband had finished his masters degree and applied into his PhD. Life was good, love was good, and the ocean was warm.


I had planned this vacation over months. I had let our travel agent know that it was our honeymoon and to ask if there were any upgrades, I had facebooked the resort and asked if I could have their best room in our price range, and I checked in at the front desk with high hopes. When we got to our room (on the 3.5 star side of the resort) I was not disappointed. Our room was one of only 6 on the cheap side that had a junior suite, type layout, and lounger chairs on our patio. We had the top floor (of 3 floors) we opened the door to a waiting champagne bottle and invites to a special dinner, as well as extra tickets to the a la carte restaurants. (as well as a dinner reservation for the 5 star sides restaurant) Coming onto the balcony out side of our suite we saw an actual OCEAN view, and had comfortable lounger chairs to sit on. We also had not one but two bathrooms. As I looked around at other peoples rooms in our price range I noticed, they didn't have suites, they had basic one room rooms, their balconies small, their balcony chairs uncomfortable metal.

The next day I noticed though the rooms in the 5 star side had personal outdoor hot tubs and each room went right out to a beautiful outdoor area, attached directly to the quiet pool. But here's the kicker... the expensive side didn't have the Ocean view, the thing that was most important to me in a room. Kent and I had an AMAZING week, we did a tour of Havanah, we swam exclusively in the Ocean not the pool, we enjoyed fantastic dinners (for Cuba anyway) and each morning I had a doughnut that was cooked fresh in front of me, sprinkled with sugar. We decided we needed to do it every second year AT LEAST. We relaxed, truly relaxed. I knew my kids were in the best hands, with a teacher, a parent, a grandparent, someone who loved them as much as we did, and was safe, responsible, and fun... they were with grandma. (when we returned our 1 year old ran to grandma, as far as Eva was concerned, that was her mom now... it took an hour for her to warm back up to us, but that gave us time to give undivided attention to Emmett)

Two years later we didn't go, PTSD hit hard, then Kent had an operation, Covid hit, Cancer hit, Cancer hit some more, Triple Neg Breast Cancer Killed, Prostate Cancer killed, I had an operation... and it's still Covid.

I didn't end this this way to end it sadly. But more so to say, when you have the opportunity, do the thing. I've always wanted to go Rock Climbing, and Axe Throwing (never done either) who knows how long till I will have that arm strength, chest movement.

Go to your happy place.

What would your's be?

- I love you mom, I miss you mom, and I'm so thankful that I got this with you, and you got that week with my kids. xo



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