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Sometimes Grief Just Punches you in the face

Updated: Oct 20, 2021

Lovely day with the family, long hours at the park, water play etc. Decide to have an impromptu pizza party (by party I mean our family of four plus our pets and stuffies.) We are just finishing dinner and trying to choose a movie. As per normal kids can't agree on anything. Finally I make a suggestion, and, of course, they both hate it and then they instantly agree on a movie.

Lion King (the live action one) Fantastic! I like that one.

Then BOOM first bit of the song I remember that this was the last movie grandma got to take Emmett to, pre-pandemic. I remember seeing it any time it was available with mom. I remember the billion times Katrina watched it and I saw parts, or all at home, in my parents house, I remember my mom seeing the musical, I remember singing along to the sing-a-long songs vhs version.

It was a solid punch btw. No prep for that, Immediately followed by remembering, her taking him to wonderland, and the zoo, coming with us to work Christmas parties, and apple orchards, pumpkin patches, Ripleys, CUBA, the cottage, Santa clause parades, Christmas mornings, winter light at nights. She was the best grandma ever, and Eva will never get this.


and on a non sensitive practical note. I actually started with this post, completely un-related to grief and focused on gratitude... then got punched by grief

So first off, (or what would have been first off without the punch)

I'd like to thank my friends for being freaking amazing all the time.

Aside from the rally of support I got after losing my mother. Kind words, flowers, FOOD, wine, a book, cookies, and other desserts...

My husband and kids are heading to visit his side of the family at the end of the month. We planned it so that they can head there a few weeks before me, due to my available vacation time.

Meaning when I found out that my first surgeon appointment, out of town, during a pandemic is happening while he is gone with our only vehicle, I was a LITTLE worried about public transportation. (I am fully vaccinated but also full of rage, so the thought of someone coughing who might be infected, makes me livid) Anyways, I knew worst case scenario he would stay back an extra 5 days to take me to the appointment. But I also know how much he is looking forward to seeing his parents, who are in their 80's who we have only seen once since this world wide pandemic started, as well as his brother, sister's and nieces and nephews. Also the kids are super excited to get into everyone's pools.

Anyway, people keep saying let me know if there's any way I can help.

So I asked my group. "Anyone want to drive me to Hamilton, and any chance anyone wants to drive me Hamilton to Guelpth."

It took about 4 minutes for one of my girls to say she could bring me back to my town (she lives in the other town) and about 3 more for another of my girls to offer to go into work that day (in the town I need to be in)

Women can be wonderful and supportive, and my circle truly is phenomenal.

Anyway apparently there is a list of helpful things I should get, or consider getting. So if you are good at sewing...

  • Drain lanyard for shower - Once surgery is completed, I will most likely have drains that are coming out of my body and being held in place with stitches. I will need this lanyard to ensure that you can shower with less worry about the drains dangling. (looks pretty easy to make, I can likely buy a mesh bag or two at dollar tree/dollarrama so basically if anyone I know has a sewing machine I ask in kind for only your time. I will buy the lanyard and, mesh bag and save $32. (edit to add, this has been offered to be sewn by a friend but asking on my mastectomy page it seems a lot of people just used big diaper pins and pinned them to something)

  • Mastectomy pillow -It is a pillow that goes underneath the arms and over the breast area to protect new incision(s), (and it will make me feel more secure when hugging people, if we are allowed to do that by then).I can provide some cotton sheets, and stuff them myself or buy stuffing. (edit this has been offered to be sewn one by one of my momfia, or buy one by my god mother) *edit RECIEVED thanks Pam xo

  • someone's old (but still working) electric Recliner. (also wondering if Ontario Home Health) rents these, as I don't want to own it just to have it for like 6 months (hopefully) - (edit to add this has been offered on lend by my bestie) *Ontario Home Health does rent these but they are limited it is $120 for the month and this includes delivery and pick up

  • Mastectomy drain jacket - basically sew pockets into any zip up hoodie, or shorter cardigan. I'll provide the material if someone has the time/talent. (- edit to add - offered by my bestie's big sister)

Then I'm hoping that insurance will cover the following. I mean I can buy them but they are for medical stuff and I have a medical plan, so I should try right.

  • Shower seat - "Having the shower seat proved to be so helpful, so I could just sit in the shower and relax." - I feel like I must know someone with one of these they can lend me? (edit to add - offered by 3 people now)

  • Detachable shower head - Apparently having this post-surgery makes a world of difference. That way after a few days I will able to sit and shower on my own since the shower head will be left hanging down for me. ( feel like this will be convenient with the kids too since they hate washing their hair. So I'll probably amazon prime this today. (my sister thinks she has one)

  • Front closure bra with wide compression (edit to add- offered by a long distanced friend whom I've never even met in person)

  • Ok and I am exhausted, absolutely wiped out. Goodnight.

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