I've been looking at A LOT of boobs lately

Seriously though, I have a rather large back tattoo, and a rather large cesarean scar cover up tattoo, and the pain is still a little fresh in my mind. I have grand ideas of what I would like but.

A: Cost

B: Pain... but these foobs will not have feeling, so does that mean my skin wont have feeling? If my skin wont have feeling maybe I can do a big one, but if they do have feeling I think I need a small one.

So all you, non pinteresters (btw pinterest is the way to go to find boob tattoo's)

So absolutely zero progress has been made.

No plastic surgeon consult

No MRI date.

I did get an email from my doctors office, to say that the MRI requisition had been sent to GGH, but me being me called GGH today since it had been a week since I got an email from my Dr. saying they had sent the paperwork. Turns out that the MRI wont be booked until they receive the paperwork from the genetic counselor.

One of my faves so far

And so, I called my genetic counselor and left a message with what I needed, and then I emailed her. Her name is Erin, she is awesome, she called me back and is just going to have Dr.Hodgson's secretary get me booked in for the MRI at their hospital in Hamilton. So if my family doctor, get's what ever GGH needs sent in to them, I'll just go to which ever MRI is booked closest to today. Everything is so hurry up and wait.

Meanwhile, I continuously google breast tattoos, mammogram scar cover-up tattoos, nipple tattoos, p.ink etc.

Nipple tattoos

A 3D nipple tattoo is a “picture” of a nipple and areola on the breast that is flat to the touch but looks three-dimensional and quite real. 3D nipple and areola tattoos are real, permanent tattoos, applied by a skilled tattoo artist with needles that insert pigment into the skin.

Many women choose to get permanent 3D nipple tattoos instead of nipple reconstruction surgery. A nipple tattoo is less invasive than nipple reconstruction, and some people feel that the cosmetic results are better. A tattoo can have fine details, shading, and coloring that make it look more realistic than what can be done with surgery. For example, a tattoo can create the illusion of Montgomery glands (little bumps that naturally appear on the areola). Tattooing is also used after nipple reconstruction surgery to add color to the new nipple(s), making them look more realistic and creating the appearance of areola(s).

Ideally, nipple tattooing should be the last stage of the breast reconstruction process. It should occur at least 4 months after your last breast reconstruction procedure or at least 4

months after nipple reconstruction surgery.

Nipple tattoos are usually applied in one session at a plastic surgeon’s office, a

hospital, or a nipple tattoo artist’s studio. If you’re thinking of getting a nipple tattoo at the studio of a nipple tattoo artist (and not at your plastic surgeon’s office), be sure that your plastic surgeon has given you approval first to move forward with nipple tattooing.

The color of the tattoo may fade slightly over time, and you might want to get a touchup session at some point.

As with nipple reconstruction surgery, you may not be a candidate for nipple tattoos if:

• you had radiation treatments that damaged your breast skin

• your breast skin became overly thinned when tissue was removed during the mastectomy

• you have lymphedema that involves the chest

• you have a history of infections in the breast area

If you’re wondering if you can get nipple tattoos, talk with your plastic surgeon and an experienced nipple tattoo artist about your individual situation. Sometimes you may just need to wait longer — for example, for your breast skin to heal more — until you can get nipple tattoos.

I also started drawing some mandalas, which is fun, but so precise, and after drawing all those lines and designs over the course of a few days I was reminded by myself, that if it's taking me this long to draw it will take just as long or longer to tattoo, so I'm thinking something smaller and daintier.

Thinking about getting amputated or worse getting cancer and THEN getting amputated, or even worse getting cancer and it being so out of control that even amputation wont help isn't nearly as fun as thinking about what I will get tattooed on my tata's following my amputation. (run on sentence much?)

This weekend I will go to my dad's... formally my parents home, and sort through my mother's clothing and accessories.

My mom and I had a lot of fun shopping in the little local downtown shops for many of her tops, and necklaces and accessories. She enjoyed shopping, and visiting me and walking downtown and grabbing a nice relaxing tea or latte.

She really loved the Sunday breakfast buffet the Bread Bar she had asked me if I would take her as her Christmas present, after Covid. She didn't last till "after Covid", perhaps I should treat myself.

I've been feeling a little down the last few days. This time last year my mom and I spoke about the

fact she couldn't take Emmett because of the covid pandemic and the fact my dad is immune compromised.

Prior to that for 3 summers she would take him up to the cottage for a week and she would see her old friend Shirley. She would play cards with her friends, and Emmett would play with Shirley's grandson's they would all swim, and go bowling, maybe go to Santa's villiage and they would all have a lovely time.

Then she would take him another week to her house. They would go for a swim (in my old crossing guard) Anna's pool, play with the kids that live across from her, and she would take him somewhere fun like Wonderland or a splash pad or the Zoo and they would make fabulous memories. (not fun for the animals, zoos are terrible which is why we have never brought our kids to the zoo, and we let the grandparents do the dirty work)

She and I talked about Eva being old enough by this year to stay at the cottage with her, and that they could start making these summer memories. Four months later she was diagnosed, and neither of my kids will have the opportunity for any more memories to be made with grandma.

My mom thrived as a grandmother. My mom was f*cking awesome.

The first time Eva went for a sleep over at grandmas house (aside from when my husband and I went on our delayed honeymoon when she was 9 months old) was totally impromptu. Grandma had stayed the night at our place, and casually asked Eva when she was going to be old enough for a sleep over at grandmas. Eva said now, I'm old enough now. (she was about two and a half) Then she walked upstairs, filled her knapsack with things she thought she needed for a sleepover and announced that she was ready to go. My mom jumped at the opportunity before Eva got a chance to change her mind and off they went. Memories made.

Pic for cuteness, the one on the left is Eva - who just slimed herself and needed me to chop off her hair, and the one on the right is my mom, around the same age as Eva.

Miss you mom, wish we were picking tattoo's for your tata's too, though I think you probably would have just opted for boring nipple tattoo's as you're much more conservative than I am.

xoxo.